


In all this chaos, we found safety

by Summerfreeze



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Bodyguard, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Bellarke, Bodyguard Romance, Car Accidents, Depression, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff, Forbidden Love, Head Injury, Medical Trauma, Memory Loss, Mental Health Issues, Protective Bellamy, abby is the president, everyone loves dogs
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-21
Updated: 2019-02-19
Packaged: 2019-08-05 09:20:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,581
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16365137
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Summerfreeze/pseuds/Summerfreeze
Summary: Clarke Griffin is dealing with a lot. Two months ago she lost her father in a car accident. In said accident, she hit her head. Now she has a brain injury. And just when she thought her life couldn't get worse, she now has a bodyguard.Bellamy Blake got offered a job for the president, or her daughter actually. He wouldn't normally take a job where he'd have to babysit a spoiled teenage girl, but he needs the money to pay his mothers hospital billsWARNING; this story contains serious issues like depression and mentions of suicide. If these topics trigger you, plase don't read the story.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi guys!!  
> I'm really excited about this story, I've been kinda developing it in my head for a really long time and I finally decided to write it.  
> I'll try to update as much as I can but I'm pretty busy with school right now so I can't promise too much. 
> 
> Like I already said in the summary, there's a lot of serious subjects in the story and if those trigger you, I wouldn't recommend reading it.  
> The first chapter is already pretty dark-ish but I hope you guys like it.

If books and movies have taught her anything it's that they're not real. They're made up stories meant to make you feel some type of way. In the end it's all bullshit. Whatever happened in the entire story, the ending is happy.  
She used to think that was the truth. Like god would always help you dig your way out of whatever mess you're in, you just dig, you get out and everything's fine. Over the past few months she learned very quickly how untrue that was.  
She can't dig, she has no strength.  
She can't get out, there's no one there.  
Only a big empty house with meaningless possessions and underpaid staff. 

“She's in the outer core”, that's what her therapist likes to say. He wants her to rank herself on how she's feeling based on the layers on the earth.  
Crust, mantle, outer core and inner core.  
She had passed the crust and mantle on September 14th and now there's only one more layer to pass. The inner core, 3.900 miles of solid, hot metals. 

“What happens when I'm there” she once asked, making it sound like a real place instead of a metaphorical concept. Jackson, her therapist, looked up from his note pad, “you're not going to ever find out, I'll make sure of that”. 

She was grateful for him, she really was. Without him she would've been gone by now. But she couldn't help but wonder what it'd be like. The inner core, or more importantly, what comes after it. The beautiful, silent nothingness.  
She knew she shouldn't be thinking it, she knew what it meant.  
It meant death.  
And death didn't sound bad.  
It used to be a terrible thing, something you don't want to have to think about until you're eighty. Now, it sounds like relief. Like freedom. 

She slowly opens her eyes, her daydream disturbed by the barking of the dogs. Brodie and Bruno. Even though she stands up slowly, she still gets dizzy. She always does.  
As soon as the stars disappear in front of her eyes, she reaches over to the nightstand and opens the first drawer. She grabs one of the orange prescription drug bottles and takes one out before swallowing it with a few sips of water.  
Her bedroom door opens with a loud creak. “Can you come down please?” it's her mother. Clarke looks at her, eyes narrow. She never just asks her to come down, there's always something. “Please?”. Clarke nods and her mother disappears again. 

“What?” as soon as she comes down the stairs, she notices her mom's not alone. They're all sitting at the dining table. Next to mom is Marcus Kane, her fiancé. Across from him is a dark-skinned guy, probably African American and across from her mom is another guy, tan and freckled.  
Both men are dressed in black, which makes her feel like someone died, and they look serious. “Honey, sit down” her mom speaks up. She crosses her arms and looks at them with furrowed eyebrows.  
Her mother sighs loudly and rolls her eyes at Clarke's stubbornness. “Nathan and Bellamy are new members of our staff” she points at the two guys. “They're here to protect us”. Ugh, she hates how dramatic her mother sounds. She can protect herself, and if she can't... even better. 

“Nathan is going to be our permanent bodyguard” she mentions between her and Marcus “and Bellamy will be yours”. Clarke's eyes widen as she unfolds her arms. She's only been released from the hospital for a little longer than a week and her mother is already trying to ruin her life.  
“You can't be serious” she says, hoping somehow this is a joke. She knew it wasn't though, her mother doesn't joke. “This is ridiculous”. 

It actually wasn't ridiculous at all, Clarke knew that. Whatever happened to her father wasn't an accident and the chance that someone was out there looking to do the same to her is very possible. She knew her family needed the protection, but it's another little piece of freedom lost. 

“Also...” her mom started again, “we've decided that, with your condition... it might be better to not go to school for a while”. This conversation keeps getting worse by the second. She didn't exactly love school, but that's where she sees her friends. Losing school means losing friends.  
“There's a great homeschooling program that works just as well as your old school, even better maybe” Marcus smiles at her, like she was supposed to get excited. The two guys, Bellamy and Nathan, looked uncomfortable. They probably didn't want to be here right now, she couldn't really understand why they were here either. Maybe because her mother doesn't expect her to throw a fit with people in the room. 

She almost does though, she would if she wasn't so tired. That's one of the many things she hates about herself lately, she gets exhausted very fast. A horribly annoying side effect of her head injury. Exhaustion, memory loss, headaches... the list goes on. That's all her life has been since September 14th. That's two months ago now and she's still not better, she doesn't know if she'll ever be.  
“Maybe you should go back to bed” her mother tells her, clearly aware of the way she's feeling right now. It's 3PM she doesn't want to go to bed, but she knows she has to. If she doesn't, she'll collapse. 

Without another word she turns around and storms upstairs. A mix of anger and fatigue on her mind. She lays down in bed and closes her eyes, within minutes she feels herself fall asleep. 

\--- 

The apartment he was so proud of seemed like a dump next to this place.  
The noisy wooden floors next to these marble ones.  
The lamp that breaks every two weeks next to this chandelier.  
It was a lot.  
Everything was a lot.  
Everything he'd worked for since he was little seemed like nothing the second he stepped foot into this house. The white house. 

And white it was. There must be people who clean this place every single day. People like him, people who so desperately needed a job that they took this one.  
Cleaning the house, walking the dogs. Bodyguard.  
He couldn't possibly imagine that any of the staff here really even wants to be here. They probably have to, just like him. Because no matter how much he hated these kinds of people growing up, they have a shit ton of money and are willing to spend it all for their own safety. 

When he got the offer to work for America's president and her family, he couldn't exactly say no. He needed it. Luckily Miller got the same offer and he won't be alone here. So, after multiple background checks and interviews, here he is.  
In his own room.  
In the white house.  
Babysitting a spoiled, rich teenage girl. 

He sighs out loud, the girl.  
She was just as pissed as he expected when she heard about her new bodyguard. He understands though. Nobody wants to be followed around every day, especially not a teenager.  
He doesn't really feel like doing that either but she doesn't seem to get out a lot. Her mother says she's sick, how sick he doesn't know, so she can't do much. That makes his job a whole lot easier. 

He wonders about her a lot. She's never been that visible in the media and suddenly she's sick? Do people from the outside know she's sick?  
He knows about the accident, about her father. It was all over the internet. ‘president's husband killed in car crash’. He'd heard she was in the car as well but how did she get out alive and he didn't? Was that the reason she's sick now? 

“You've gone crazy you know that, right?” someone's voice comes from the room next to his, “you can't just lock me up forever”. He quickly realizes it's the girl, Clarke. Her room is next to his and she sounds pissed.  
“I'm not locking you up, you can go wherever you want” Mrs. Griffin replies. There's a faint scoff in the other room, "yeah, with a fucking bodyguard”. He opens his door, wanting to listen in on the conversation and starts nonchalantly unpacking his suitcase. He knows he shouldn't eavesdrop, but he can't help it. 

“You need someone to watch out for you” her mother says. Clarke's bedroom door is open as well so he can easily hear the scoff that comes out of her mouth, “you're my mom, aren't you supposed to do that?”. Ouch. A long silence follows until it's broken by Clarke, storming out of her room. He sees her walk by, and then she stops. 

“What?” she says, tears stained on her cheeks. “Nothing” he responds simply. She looks sad, she clearly doesn't want him here and she has every right to. He almost feels bad for her, maybe she's not as bad as he thought.  
“Do you like eavesdropping people's conversations?” she asks crossing her arms and leaning against the doorway. “I wasn't eavesdropping” he tells her even though he definitely was. 

She narrows her eyes at him, she doesn't believe him. She walks into the room, uncrossing her arms, “don't think you'll be keeping this job for long. I don't want you here and if I tell my mom to fire you, she will".  
Bellamy chuckles softly. She sounds just as spoiled as he thought she would be. “Your parents brought me here for your safety. You can get me fired but then they'll just hire someone else”. She looks at him with her brows furrowed and eyes narrow as he steps closer to her, “sorry princess but you can't always have it your way".


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke and Bellamy start to get on eachother's nerves, Clarke goes to her therapy session.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Second chapter!!!  
> I actually promised myself I'd update every Sunday (European time) but I had some time on my hands so I wrote this one a little early. There's probably still gonna be an update on Sunday though but sometimes I just post more than other times lol.

It didn't take long for him to find out that his job was harder than he thought it would be. In only one week she's managed to try to sneak out four times, never actually succeeding but never giving up either.  
Also, she barely ever talks to him. Obviously, he didn't expect them to be friends or anything but not talking makes his job so much more boring. So boring that the few snarky remarks she gives him make him happy instead of offended. 

Overall, he doesn't see her a lot. She spends most of her time in her room, talking and laughing loudly. So loud he can actually hear her conversations from his room. Apparently, someone named Monty is 'finally’ dating some Harper. He couldn't care less but he has a habit of eavesdropping. 

Whenever she's not on the phone she's probably asleep. She sleeps a lot. Her parents explained she has a head injury and her medication makes her tired. He obviously knew about the accident, it had been all over the news when it happened. But they managed to keep her injury private. He wondered why. 

The longer he spends here the more he starts to wonder about things. Clarke's father died about two months ago yet there's not a single picture of him in this house. There's framed pictures all over the house but never of him. Some of Abby, a lot of Clarke, even some of Marcus. The more he thinks about it, the more confused he gets.   
He stands on the staircase, staring at the wall full of pictures. Abby with her parents, Clarke as a toddler. His eyes fall onto an empty place on the wall. There's a big faint outline of a frame that tells him there used to be a picture there, a big one. Maybe a family picture, one Clarke's father was in as well. 

“What are you doing?” the sudden voice almost scares him. He looks up to find Clarke standing at the end of the staircase. She's fully dressed, no sweatpants for once. He frowns at her, “where are you going?”.   
She steps down a couple steps, crossing her arms, “I asked you first”. He rolls his eyes, “I'm admiring your pictures” he says sarcastically. She sighs and walks down the stairs, nudging his shoulder when she passes him. Her boots are loud on the marble floors. The black jeans and leather jacket almost make her look like she doesn't belong here. Her delicate face says differently. 

“Aren’t you gonna answer my question?” he goes down the stairs and blocks her from the door, “where are you going?”. She sighs in annoyance and tries to get through anyway. He stays in front of the door, letting her try to push through him until she finally gives up and takes a step back.   
“I have to go to Jackson” is all she says. He heard her mom talk about Jackson before, she said Clarke had to go there at least twice a week or whenever she wants to. And even though he didn't like it, he knew he had to drive her there. 

He sighs and lets her through. As soon as she reaches the car, she grabs the keys out of her pocket. Just before she can click the button to open it, he takes it out of her hands and does it himself, getting in the front seat.   
“This is my car” she says before he closes the door. She hears some faint, annoyed grunts from outside the car and smiles. She walks around the car and opens the passenger door. “Hello?” she says as she gets in the car. “Hi” he responds, starting the car with a smirk on his face. The only thing he actually enjoys about his job is this. Annoying her. 

She lets out a breath of air, clearly annoyed with him. "You know I can drive right”. He pulls out of the ridiculously large driveway in the ridiculously expensive car. “You're not fooling me Clarke” he says, eyes fixed on the road. In the corner of his eye he sees her looking at him, he finally looks back, “you're not allowed to drive under medication.”   
He fixes his eyes back on the road even though he feels her glare at him. After a while she gives up, crossing her arms and looking out of the window except for at him, only talking when he asks her for directions. 

\--- 

She's furious. Surprisingly, not at Bellamy. No, at her mother. Does she even realize how embarrassing it is to have people know she's under medication. She specifically told her mother she didn't want anyone to know, Bellamy isn't an exception.   
She had started to get used to having him there, she didn't even argue about it with her mom. But that didn't mean she's okay with him knowing all her personal details. 

What else does he know? Does he know about her mental state? Does he know who Jackson is? She spent the car ride on the verge of tears. Everything she didn't want people to know about her, everything she hates about herself, he probably knows. It scared her, what if he told other people? 

When they reach Jacksons house, she sees him frown. Maybe he doesn't know anything about it. She unfastens her seatbelt and steps out of the car without saying anything. She's glad he doesn't actually have to go in with her. He just makes sure she gets inside safely and picks her up in about an hour. 

She walks inside the small house and is immediately greeted by a small dog. “Hi Charlie” she says in a high-pitched voice, scratching behind the dog's ears. She walks through the hall and into the living room. “Clarke” Jackson's voice calls from the kitchen, she turns around the corner and sees him decorating cupcakes. She smiles adoringly.   
Jackson isn't just her therapist, he's also just a really good friend and she's very grateful to have him. “Here” he hands her a huge tray of rainbow cupcakes, “could you put these in the fridge, you can pick one if you want”. He swiftly moves back and forth in the kitchen while stuffing one of the cupcakes into his mouth. 

“Is there a pride march I don't know about?” she says while testing out the blue and purple decorated frosting. "Nope, I'm handing them out at the LGBT youth center”. She smiles again, of course he is.   
“You know you can always join me” he says. She'd love to but her mom wouldn't approve. If people see her do that sort of thing, they'd think she was gay and according to her mom, that'd be a disgrace. It's funny how the public thinks she's so progressive, being the first female president and all, but what they don't see is that she's actually very close-minded.   
Yes, she's allowing gay adoption and all that. But she does that simply so people won't hate her. She cares more about what people think about her than she actually cares about the people. 

After a few minutes of cupcake tasting they went to his office. She sits with her legs crossed, hands on her knees. She's still gets nervous. After all the therapy sessions, it's still scary to actually talk about her feelings, especially when they're so deep. 

“So, Clarke, why did you call today?” he asks, sitting across from her, “today isn't one of our regularly scheduled sessions”. That's true, she called him because she needed to talk, now that she's sitting here, she's not sure what to say.   
“Today's just...” she struggles to find the word. Bad, emotional, scary? “your dad's birthday” he finishes for her. She sucks in a breath, nobody ever mentions him so it surprises her every time he does. 

“It's different. Last year we were celebrating at the house in Malibu and everything seemed okay. Now...” she pauses, trying to keep her voice steady. “Nobody ever talks about him, even today. I don't understand why” she finishes softly. A single tear falls down her cheek and she grunts, not wanting to cry right now.   
“Maybe your mom needs some time, she lost him too” Jackson says. It doesn't feel like she lost him, she's moved on the day after it happened. A crying widow in front of the press but emotionless at home. “She's fine. If she wasn't, she wouldn't be with Marcus already” 

“Maybe she's hiding her emotions. You never know what's going on in somebody else's mind.” Clarke stays quiet for a while, listening to Jackson talk. She doesn't want to be here, she doesn't want to talk. She just knows she needs to. It's like every time she talks about it there's a little push, like she's getting a little further away from the inner core (as Jackson would say). 

“I don't remember anything” she blurts. Jackson looks up at her from his note pad. “About the accident. I don't remember it. I just got in the car and then I was in the hospital”. He looks at her with a confused look on his face, probably wondering why she's saying this. “That means something entirely different could've happened. Something the doctor didn't tell me.” 

Jackson frowns, “what do you think happened?”. She sighs, thinking about what she's about to say. “There's no witnesses, no one else hurt, no other driver... my mother hired bodyguards. She says it's to protect us. Why would we need to suddenly be protected?” 

"Clarke” he interrupts her but she continues. “If it was an accident there'd be another car involved, but when I ask nobody says anything about that. All the secrets and extra protection came after the accident. An accident where the only witness has lost her memory.”   
“What are you saying?” Jackson asks even though he definitely already knew what she was saying. For a second, she contemplated to stop talking, to not make anyone think she's more messed up that they thought.   
She sighs, keeping her face straight, “I'm saying I don't think it was an accident".

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys liked it!  
> let me know what you guys think ;)


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I haven't updated in a while, I really have no good excuse lol  
> Anyway, here's another chapter, hope y'all like it

“So, how's work going?” Octavia calls to him from the couch while he grabs two beers from Murphy's fridge, “are you giving up yet?”. Bellamy rolls his eyes and walks into the living room, handing one of the beers to Raven and taking a sip of his own. 

“How's the girl?” Raven asks. He shrugs, he doesn't really feel like talking about his job. Partly because this is his weekend off but also because he knows every single one of his friends doesn't agree with his job. Except for Miller. 

“Is she hot?” Murphy asks with a smug grin. Raven slaps his arm and gives him a look. “What? She's about my age, why not?”. Bellamy rolls his eyes. Murphy is nowhere near fit for Clarke, none of them are. She'll probably end up with some kid who got rich without actually earning the money. 

Bellamy sits down on the armchair and takes another sip of his beer. It feels weird being here, with his friends. A few weeks ago, this would've been a normal Friday night, now it felt strange to be here. He's grateful for getting some time off but he finds himself wondering what Clarke is doing right now. Is she just locked up at home? If not, why do they even need him at all? 

He walks back into the kitchen to pop popcorn. Octavia follows him and interrupts his thoughts, “I still don't understand why you're working for people like that”. Her expression is blank but she's clearly not amused. Bellamy rolls his eyes again, he's done with Octavia's whining. “You know why I have to O”.   
“There are plenty more jobs out there. I can help out, get a job of my own”. He knows she's trying to help, he appreciates it. But he wants her to focus on school. “You can't keep working for those people Bell” 

“Those people are paying for moms medical bills Octavia” he whispers, slightly angry. “I don't care what you think about them, we need this. Mom needs this” 

Finally, Octavia is silent. She rolls her eyes and walks back into the living room. She's too young to understand. At that age most people think earning money is easy. That you get one job and earn enough for rent, gas, water and everything else. Unfortunately, it doesn't work that way. 

He started working when he was 14, around the time his mother was diagnosed. Then when things got worse and his mom couldn't work anymore, he added another job. By the time he was 17 he worked two jobs and dealt weed just to pay for his mom's first chemotherapy. He even tried to find his father, hoped that he might help him out. In the end he all had to do it himself. 

He understands why Octavia is so opposed to him having this job. They've always hated those kinds of people. People who have so much money for themselves but never even think about giving part of it away. He didn't like the idea of working for them either. He still doesn't but he's earning twice with this one job as much than he used to with three. 

“What's with all the secrets Blake?” he turns around and looks at Echo. He laughs, "no secrets here”. She rolls her eyes and looks him up and down with narrow eyes. “You think we're stupid Bellamy? We all know something's up. Just tell me.” she steps closer, “you can trust me”. 

He feels bad about not telling his friends about his mom. He wants to tell them, he just doesn't want the pity that comes with it. Even if he would tell anyone, Echo would be the last person to know. 

He's uncomfortable at how close she's standing but still keeps a straight face, “everything's fine. I just don't really feel like going out.” She smiles and steps even closer, her face now inches away from his. “Then let's just stay here, we can have fun just the two of us. Like we had fun last week” her smile forms into a wide grin. 

He rolls his eyes and walks away, back into the livingroom. He'd slept with her a few times, all mistakes, but she's just refusing to accept that. And somehow that always works on him. She chases after him, always, and then when he's weak or pissed he turns around she's right there. He knows it's not healthy but he can't help it. 

Later that night when they're in Arkadia, a club full of annoying and possibly underage people, Echo starts rubbing on his leg. He ignores it, like he always does. Telling her off is no use anyways, she'll just smile and think it's some sort of powerplay. 

They all sit in a booth in the back of the club, looking bored. “Well this is fun” Murphy speaks up over the loud music. Bellamy rolls his eyes, “you wanted to come here”. Murphy ignores him, looking over at the bar where a group of girls with extremely short dresses order some drinks. 

“Don't even think about it Murphy” Raven says. He turns towards her, “I can look”. Raven just rolls her eyes out of jealousy and everyone knows they're about to get in a fight. They do that a lot. They're the sort of couple that can fight for the entire night and still go home together. Bellamy sighs and stands up from the booth, “I'm gonna get a drink”. He walks to the bar and orders a beer. 

Lately he hasn't really felt at home with his friends. At first, he thought it was because of the lack of time they’re able to spend together but now he knows it's just him. He hasn't been any fun for a while now and his friends are just too nice to tell him. 

He's sure they've noticed something's up. He's changed a lot over the past few months. He often cancels going out to stay with his mom and aside from the Echo thing he hasn't had any one-night stands. His friends know he would never take the job he has now willingly. 

He chugs his beer and stands up from the barstool, contemplating to just walk straight home until something catches his eye. A blonde girl at the end of the bar, attempting to buy alcohol while being obviously underage. Clarke. 

She bends over the bar and smiles at the bartender, showing a lot of cleavage. He knows for sure she's not supposed to be here but he contemplates letting her be anyway. He's not working right now, this isn't his fault so why should he be the one to solve it. Besides, she doesn’t even see him. He could easily just leave without getting involved. 

He almost leaves. Until the bartender finally gives in and makes her a drink, dropping a pill in the beverage when his back is turned towards her and she's staring at the dance floor. The guy turns around and hands her the drink, whispering something in her ear. 

\--- 

“made especially for you” he says in her ear. She smiles at him and takes a sip. She immediately cringes, god she hates alcohol. The guy in front of her is watching her, or rather watching her chest. 

She knows her being here is stupid, she's not even allowed to drink with the medicine she's taken but whatever. If something happens it’s not her fault. If her mom's so worried about her condition she should worry about what she's doing. Clarke sneaked out of the house hours ago and she still hasn't noticed. 

Before she can take another sip of her vodka-whatever, the drink is taken out of her hand. “What the-” she turns around and is shocked to see no one other than Bellamy. Her brows furrow as a million thoughts come to her mind. What is he doing here? Did he follow her? 

He grabs her arm and says something but she can't hear him over the loud music pumping through the speakers. She just gives him a confused look until he pulls her from the barstool and takes her outside. “What the hell are you doing?” she asks when they step outside. He doesn't answer, he just ignores her and takes her to the parking lot. 

“Hello?” she says, trying to get her arm freed from his grip. He lets go of her arm but still ignores her. “Did my mom plan this? Tell me she gave you the weekend off just to test me?” 

Bellamy sighs, “no”. She looks around, the bright lights coming from the club are so blinding she feels dizzy, or maybe it's the alcohol. It can't be, she only had a little bit. She wraps her arms around her body, now regretting the short dress she picked out. 

“What are we doing here?” she asks, suddenly aware that they're just standing in the middle of a parking lot. “Waiting for a taxi”, he sounds annoyed. He clearly is annoyed. 

He looks her up and down and rolls his eyes before shrugging his jacket off and putting it on her shoulders. She mumbles a thanks and spins around to look back at the club, she wants to go back. 

She's starting to feel dizzy, like she's wasted, but she knows she can't be. Turning towards the road again she almost trips over her own feet and Bellamy gives her a confused look, “you good?”. She nods but he doesn't seem to believe her. “Did you drink what that guy gave you?” 

As she nods her head up and down her vision gets blurrier. “I'm tired” she says, feeling her eyes shut. She can hear Bellamy say something but it's not clear enough to actually understand. Everything is dark and she can feel the cold stone underneath her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you liked this chapter, I promise the next update won't take as long as this one.  
> Comments always motivate me to write so tell me what you think and leave kudos <3


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two chapters in one day!  
> I still have so much homework to do lmao.  
> The comments on last chapter kinda motivated me to write more. I'm always happy to see people say that they actually like what I write and what I come up with because sometimes I'm kinda insecure about my writing skills. So thank you for those comments, Loved it <3
> 
> If anyone wants to know when I'm going to update, my twitter is @ Bellarkehs  
> I don't tweet so much anymore but if you're ever wondering when I'm going to post you can ask or I'll probablytweet about how far I am with the chapter.

When she opens her eyes again, she's in a car. A car she doesn't recognize. There's a glass wall between the front seats and the backseats which makes it obvious that this is a cab. Her cheek is leaning on something hard, at first she thought it might've been the door but she soon notices that it's Bellamy. 

“Are we going home?” she mumbles against his shirt. She still feels dizzy. It kind of feels like a dream. Like she'd wake up and be in her own bed again. She tries opening and closing her eyes a few times to see if she could wake up. “I'm taking you to the hospital first” Bellamy answers quietly. The hospital? Why? She wants to ask him but doesn't feel like talking so instead she stays silent for the rest of the ride. 

When they arrive at the hospital he pays the driver, steps out of the car and holds the door open for her. He probably sees her struggling to get out because soon she feels his hands on her. One on her wrist and one on her waist, helping her stand up right. 

They walk inside, his hands still supporting her, and Bellamy starts talking to one of the people behind the register. She can't really hear what they're saying, she probably could if she put in a little effort but she was more focused on Bellamy's hand which was wrapped around her waist. 

It felt really protective, like he was worried about her. Like he cared or something. But of course, this is his job (even though he's not supposed to be working), and he knows that if he'd let go of her, she'd probably stumble down some random hallway. 

When Bellamy's done talking to the nurse, woman, person or whatever he starts pushing her towards the hallway in front of them. One of the signs says “ER” and there's a lot of rooms. They're not really rooms though, more like a bed with a chair and curtains around it. 

“The nurse will be here in a second” he says, sitting down on the uncomfortable looking chair next to the bed. She sits down on the bed, her legs dangling off the edge. She's kind of sad because he's not touching her anymore and she wonders why she has this sudden need to feel him on her. Maybe she's just drunk. 

She still didn't understand how she could be feeling like this when she only has a little bit to drink and she especially didn't understand why they were in the hospital. “Why are we here?” she asks him. 

He sighs, he looks tired. “Because someone slipped something into your drink”. Oh, she thought. She wonders if he knows she's on medicine and she's actually not allowed to take alcohol with it all but he already looks annoyed by just being here so she doesn't want to add to it. She's not his responsibility. 

When the nurse finally arrives, she does a few tests on her, taking blood, shining a really bright light in her eyes. When she's done, she says it'll be fine, she's just going to have to take it easy for the next few days. The nurse tells her she can't take her usual medicine for a few days, which kind of sucks because that means she'll have to go through terrible migraines. 

When they're finally done Bellamy tells her to wait in the waiting room while he makes a call. She knows he's probably calling her mom but that's okay. She just wants mom to pick her up and go home before the headache starts. She looks at the big white clock hanging on the wall in front of her, 4:18AM. Knowing how late it is makes her want to go home even more. 

\--- 

They sit in the waiting room half an hour before the familiar, expensive black car shows up in front of the hospital. Clarke fell asleep within 5 minutes of sitting down and she's been drawling on his shoulder ever since. 

Part of him feels weird about it. If he didn't work for her or maybe if she was a few years older it would've been romantic. He wants to say that it just feels like babysitting but that's not quite it. It's somewhere in between. It doesn't feel like babysitting but it doesn't feel romantic. 

It’s just... weird. 

He wakes her up carefully. Before she opens her eyes, she gives him a few annoyed grunts. Like she wanted to stay asleep, like she was perfectly comfortable... on his shoulder. As soon as she opened her eyes, she looked kind of embarrassed. She quickly stood up and noticed the car through the window. 

She walked towards it without another word and got in the car. He follows her and as soon as she's inside he notices a disappointed look on her face. He looks around, thinking about what she could be thinking about until he notices that the passenger seat is empty. It's just the driver. 

Her mom isn't here. Clarke sneaked out of her room, got drugged and had to go to the hospital. But her mom wasn't here. His mom is sick and can barely walk sometimes but even she would come help him or Octavia if anything had happened. 

She looks hurt but doesn't say anything. He almost wants to ask her if she's okay but he knows he shouldn't. He shouldn't ask because he shouldn't care. Honestly, he doesn't really. At least not particularly about her. But nobody deserves to be treated like that. 

This is why he hates rich families. They spend so much time earning and spending their money that they don't even have any time left for their own children. 

For the rest of the ride she just stared out of the window, for a moment he thinks he can see tears well up in her eyes but he tries not to look for too long. Instead he just decides to check his phone. 

He has about 20 missed calls and even more texts from his friends. When he was in the hospital, he had quickly texted Octavia, saying he had to do something work related. Still almost all texts were from here. Some are worried, most are pissed. 

O: “Why are you working on your weekend off”   
O: “Can't they pay someone else to do it?”   
O: “They're ruining your weekend"   
O: “I can't believe you want to stay at this job” 

He sighs, not planning on answering her texts. She's pissed, he understood why. He's not exactly pursuing his dream with this job but sometimes that's not important. She's too young to understand that he doesn't really have a choice and bills don't pay themselves. 

When they finally drive through the big gates of the residence and stop in front of the front door Clarke tries to get out of the car as soon as possible. He stops her, gently pulling on her arm. 

“I really wanna go to bed Bellamy” she doesn't look him in the eye and her voice cracks a little bit. He sighs, she looks tired. Not only tired but also just sad. He wants to tell her that he's annoyed. That she ruined his night and that she's lucky he was even there. But he doesn't. He lets her free from his grip, “goodnight”. 

She looks at him for a second and he almost think that she wants to say something. That she's sorry or something. Instead she just mumbles a goodnight and gets out of the car. He waits for her to get inside before telling the driver his address so he can take him home. 

\--- 

When she wakes up, she's happy to see her bedroom ceiling. She has a horrible headache but at least she's home. She looks at the digital clock next to her bed, it reads 01:26PM. She slept past the morning and she still feels like shit. 

Honestly, whenever she wakes up, she always feels like shit. Normally she'd just take a pill and it'd calm down a little. Now she can't. With her head pumping she gets out of bed and takes a shower, getting the disgusting smell of smoke and alcohol out of her hair. 

She goes downstairs, already mentally preparing for her mom's inevitable lecture. When she reaches the kitchen nobody's there. She looks around the house for a while but quickly gives up. She's getting married in a week, probably has a lot of things to do. More important things apperantly. 

She grabs a blanket and lies down on the couch deciding to just watch some tv. Just when she's about to fall asleep she hears heavy footsteps coming from the dining room. She looks up from the couch to see Bellamy walking into the living room. 

Oh god. 

“How are you feeling” he says, sitting down next to her on the couch. “Like shit” she answers softly. He doesn't look at her, he's looking at the tv. It doesn't even look like he cares how she's feeling so why even ask the question? 

“Aren't you supposed to be... not here”. Bellamy lets out a soft chuckle, “Yeah well I wasn't supposed to be working last night either but you couldn't help it and had to get yourself into trouble”. 

She frowns at him. Asshole. “I'm not asking you to be here, you can just go” she says, crossing her arms. “Your moms asking me to be here. To babysit you”. 

She sighs. Of course her mom would rather pay someone else to deal with me instead of just doing it herself. “I'm seventeen, I don't need a babysitter”. 

“Apparently you do Princess” god, that stupid nickname, “you could've gotten seriously hurt last night, you're lucky I was there”. She rolls her eyes. If she knew he was gonna be cocky about it she never would've accepted his help. 

“You're welcome, by the way” he says. Even though she can feel his eyes boring into her, she doesn't respond.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys liked this chapter.  
> I know it might be kinda confusing that they lowkey hate eachother rn but i promise it won't stay that way lol.  
> Leave comments & kudos <3


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke and Bellamy attend her mother's wedding

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for not updating in so long, I get really insecure about my writing sometimes so I delete things or completely start over. I just really want everyone to like what I'm writing lol.
> 
> anyway, I hope you'll enjoy this chapter.

They don't talk anymore after that. At least not unless they have to. She stays at home so she doesn't have to be near him as much and whenever she does leave the house, she makes sure it's quick. 

He takes her to Jackson and picks her up an hour later. He took her to Harper's place once but he waited in front of the home for her to be done. She knew that's probably what he was told to do and he didn't really feel like waiting on her either but somehow it still annoyed her. She just wants him to leave her alone. 

School starts soon but she knows that she'll be home schooled this year. That means she gets to see her friends less than she already does. 

She feels terrible. Even though she's allowed to take her medicine again she has a headache every single day. Her mom barely said anything about her sneaking off, which just makes her feel ten times worse. If her mom doesn't care, who would. 

Her father would. 

Her father... he was probably the best man she's ever known. A great father and husband, but he gets treated like shit anyway. It's only been a few months and her mother's already getting remarried. 

She's tried to put off even thinking about that for a few weeks now. She contemplated not going to the wedding at all. Why would she? Her mother doesn't even like her, why would she come to her wedding. Not to mention how disrespectful it is to her father. If it wasn't for the overflow of bodyguards at that party, she'd definitely sneak out of there. 

But she can't. She knows she'll have Bellamy glued to her back during the entire thing, meaning she can't go anywhere. Probably can't even take a sip of something other than a soda. 

Her mother's been doing beauty routines all morning and she can't help but wonder if it was like this when she got married to her dad. She's seen old wedding photos, she doesn't look nearly as fake as she does now. Then again, she wasn't nearly as rich as she is now. 

Her parents got married on a boat, eloped actually. In Atlantic city. Her dad was already a big politician and Abby's parents didn't want her to get involved in all the mess. So, without any blessings, they eloped. A few friends by their side but nothing special. Just them on an old, rusty fisher's boat with a few lights dangling off the sides. 

Clarke had heard the story about a thousand times by now but never gets tired of it. Now she looks around at the white-gold extravagant venue that is their own backyard and wonders how the hell this happened. 

Her parents always seemed so in love, inseparable. Thinking back to the old wedding photos Clarke couldn't imagine why her mother would like all of this. But she does. She seems happy. 

Clarke steps into her mother's room, watching her light up in the bright white dress on her body. It's not Clarke's style but... she looked pretty. 

“Honey” she turns her back towards the mirror and smiles brightly at her daughter, “what do you think?” 

Clarke smiles politely, not letting her mother see how she's really feeling about all of this. “looks beautiful”. She wants to cry, not because of the dress or any other cheesy reasons, but because it's a lot. 

All of this, just a few months after her father died, it doesn't sit well with her and her mother seems to notice. “Clarke” she starts, her expression changing completely, “why can't you be happy for me? For once.” 

She sounded disappointed, like Clarke was wrong to feel this way and she should be excited about all of this. “I am, it's just-” 

“No, you're not. You never are” she interrupts her, now sounding angry instead of disappointed, “I know you're going through a tough time with your injuries and everything that's happened but for once, think about somebody else's happiness instead of your own.” 

Tears well up in her eyes but she refuses to give in, “I'm the selfish one? My dad, your husband, just died. You're having me home schooled, meaning I won't get to see my friends. I'm tired and have migraines every single day and if that's not bad enough you're getting married to some guy I don't even really know” 

Her mother's eyes widen. Both of them stay silent, waiting for the other to say something until her mother walks towards her and grabs her wrist tightly. “I am doing everything I can to help you Clarke, your injuries are not my fault and home schooling is the only option for you right now.” 

A tear drips along her cheek, her mother's grip becomes tighter, “now stop acting like a child and enjoy the party”. She lets go and walks out of the room, leaving Clarke alone. 

She's crazy, she thinks, her mother's crazy. Who in their right mind thinks all of this is normal behavior as a mother? 

\--- 

Bellamy's POV 

He was on his way to the backyard when he heard it, Clarke fighting with her mother. He stands around the corner, unsure about what to do. 

He knows he should just keep walking. Go into the overly decorated backyard and wait for the ceremony to start. But that's not what he does. Curiosity gets the best of him and he stays where he is, leaning his ear closer to the room, trying to eavesdrop his boss and her daughter. 

They're fighting about the wedding, about how Clarke doesn't want it to happen. She sounds upset, her voice is trembling. As much as he doesn't like her and her family, he can't help but feel a little bad for her. 

Suddenly footsteps come his way, he hides around the corner, hoping whoever's coming out of the room, isn't coming his way. But he's not that lucky. 

“Bellamy” Abby looks at him and then back to the room she just came from, "were you eavesdropping?” 

He clears his throat awkwardly, not sure what to do. Luckily, before he could say or do anything, Abby speaks up again. “Did you hear what she said to me? She thinks I'm the selfish one” she scoffs. 

Bellamy stays silent again, not wanting to say the wrong thing. 

“I mean...” she sits down on a small bench in the hallway, her dress spreading over the entire piece of furniture. “I'm doing everything to help that girl but she's just becoming more and more troubling” 

Bellamy opens his mouth to speak but is interrupted by Abby, “I pay her bills, give her a place to stay, fill her closet with clothes...” she buries her head between her hands and lets out a frustrated sigh. 

He shoves his hands in his suit pockets and swallows. He tries so hard to mind his own business, but he can't, “I don't think she wants your money”. He sits down on the bench on the opposite side of the hallway, “I think she just wants a mother” 

He knows he's overstepping a boundary with that last statement, but maybe it needed to be heard. Abby stands up, clearing her throat and straightening her dress with her hands, “You should get Clarke, the ceremony is about to start” 

With that she walks away, leaving him alone in the hallway. He walks back to the dressing room, looking for Clarke but she wasn't there. 

He goes upstairs and knocks on her bedroom door, nobody answers. He hears music coming from the backyard and knocks again. 

“What?” she answers, her voice sounding upset, even through the door. 

“It's starting, your mom asked me to get you downstairs” it's silent for a couple seconds, she doesn't answer. He sighs, “I'm coming in” 

He opens the door and meets her eyes. The blue bridesmaids dress is on the floor of her bedroom and she's dressed in jeans and a shirt. She looks at him, opening her mouth to say something but he stops her. 

“Why aren't you dressed?” This girl is giving him a headache, he bets when she doesn't show up at the wedding, it'll be his fault. 

She grabs her bag from the ground and tries to walk past him, he stops her, his hand on her waist. She frowns and he quickly takes it off. “I'm going to Harper's”, she says. 

“Clarke... please don't make this harder for me. Just get dressed” he walked over to where her dress had been thrown on the ground and picked it up, handing it to her, “Please” 

Her face stays emotionless but she takes the dress from him, “fine, get out then”. He steps out of the room and waits for her to get dressed. Only a minute or two she steps out of the room turning around, “zipper”. 

He zips her up, trying not to notice how soft the skin of her back feels. She turns around again and he can't help but scan her body for a moment. The silk fabric is tight to her upper body but loosely flows along her legs, all the way to the ground. 

The blue color is a perfect match with her eyes and the top part of the dress seems a little too tight, causing her chest to spill out of it a little every time she inhales. 

“Are you done?” she asks, catching him glancing just a little below her neck. She rolls her eyes and walks away, he clears his throat and follows her down the stairs. He shakes his head, trying to get rid of the thoughts in his mind. 

Clarke walks right into the backyard, right onto the isle, silencing everyone who was watching the ceremony Clarke now interrupted. Her mother's eyes widen and Marcus laughs nervously. 

Bellamy walks to where Miller is standing, on the side of the stage. He finds himself smiling as Clarke pushes through the groomsmen and takes her place between the bridesmaids. Everyone watches her, some of them a little shocked, until she speaks up “can we go on?” 

Bellamy chuckles, this girl might be a pain in the ass but at least for once it's not his. 

The ceremony goes on for a long time after that, he gets bored after the first five minutes. He looks around, everyone seems to be enjoying it and he can't imagine why. It's just some guy talking about a relationship for almost an hour. 

It's all so fake. The smiles, the tears. Not to mention the guy is completely staying away from the fact that she had a husband just a few months ago, who died. 

He doesn't even really believe in marriage, at least not in the ways he's experienced it. His father didn't have the guts to stick around long enough for marriage, Octavia's dad got married to his mom but he was an abusive asshole. And now this; a newly widowed mother, marrying a friend of her dead ex-husband. 

Besides, a wedding costs an unnecessary big amount of money. If he ever decides to marry, fine, but he'd rather kill himself than spend this much money on it. 

Happy cheers and clapping from the audience shake him out of his thoughts. He looks up to see Abby and Marcus in each other's arms. A few steps away from them is Clarke, in her beautiful blue dress. 

Tears stream over her face as she claps her hands together along with everyone else, he quickly realizes they're not tears out of happiness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked this chapter. If you want me to write more please leave kudos and comments. Not to sound annoying but comments really motivate me to write more lol xoxo

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you guys liked the first chapter.  
> Please tell me what you think, I love reading comments (motivates me to write more ;))


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